The Haven

Hagar: Forgotten Woman
By Jessica Wilkinson

A woman sat huddled beside a small bush, the sound of her sobbing the only noise to disturb the quiet solitude of this dry, lonely desert. The meager shade offered by the bush was a poor match against the searing heat of the desert sun as it beat down on the head of the distraught woman. Still, she paid little attention to her physical discomfort. Her head between her knees, her body convulsing with sobs, her mind was filled with the image of the still form that lay several yards away beneath the scraggly brush.

It was the body of her teen-aged son. He was still alive, but barely. He was suffering from severe dehydration, and she had no way to help him. There was no water to be found. With all of her might she'd tried. Finally, she had been forced to drag him under the brush where he would be somewhat sheltered from the sun, and now she sat here, waiting for him to die. Waiting to die alongside him.

"My God, the God of my master, Abraham, why have you done this to me?", Hagar cried in despair. "Why did you give me a son, and now leave me to watch him die?" The wracking sobs overtook her now, making further cries impossible. She rocked back and forth on her heels, wailing and crying in complete despair. Finally, the sobs began to ease, and her breath began to return to normal. Her tears were spent. She sat there, completely and utterly brokenhearted, idly fingering a tear in the hem of her woolen tunic that she had not noticed until that moment. Thoughts of the events leading up to this moment swirled through her mind, the images coming, one after the other.

When she had first joined the household of Abraham and his wife Sarah (or Abram and Sarai as they were called then), she had found them to be a most puzzling pair. Most of the tribes and nations around them worshipped a multitude of gods - the most prominent among them being the sun and the moon gods. Her master, however, worshipped only One God. The One True God, Abraham had told his people, did not require of them the sacrifice of their children, or the other horrific and licentious forms of worship demanded by the other gods. Abraham claimed that his God loved and cared for each of his people individually. Abraham even claimed that his God had spoken to him and promised to make him a great nation.

At the time, Hagar had laughed quietly to herself. A great nation, indeed. Everybody knew that Abraham's wife, Hagar's mistress, was barren. The man was delusional. Apparently Sarah had seen the ridiculousness of the situation as well, as she took it upon herself to make a decision that altered Hagar's life forever. As was customary in that part of the world, Sarah offered her handmaid, Hagar, to her husband in order to bear him a child. That child would then be raised as Sarah's own. When she had gone in to Abraham that first time, Hagar had felt a strange mixture of fear, revulsion, and a smug sense of pride. Fear of the unknown, revulsion that she was a piece of property to be "given" to another man at the whim of her mistress, and finally, pride that she had been chosen to do this that her own mistress could not do. Abraham might be delusional with all of his talk of his God giving him many descendants, but it would be Hagar who would make his dream come true.

As Hagar had suspected, it wasn't long before she conceived a child for her master. After that, she found it difficult indeed to submit to Sarah and obey her, just as if she was any normal household slave. Sarah should be grateful, after all, that Hagar was providing the heir that Sarah was too unwomanly to be able provide!! Instead of gratitude, however, Hagar was rewarded with an icy coldness from her mistress. As time went on, and the visible evidence of Hagar's pregnancy became more apparent, Sarah's attitude toward the young maid had become increasingly resentful and harsh. Each bitter retaliation from Sarah brought an even more haughty response from Hagar, beginning a battle between the women that would be seemingly without end. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, Hagar had left her master's household in despair. Determined to make her way on her own, Hagar had instead found herself alone and scared in the wilderness. At that time to, she had been sitting by a bush in the desert, crying over her misfortune. Only that time, Abraham's God had rescued her. She had never really believed in Him until that moment. But then, suddenly, there was a man standing in front of her where no one had been just a moment before. He had asked, "Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?"

"I'm running away from my mistress Sarai", had been her answer.

Then the angel of the Lord had told her, "Go back to your mistress and submit to her." Then he had added, "I will so increase your descendants that they will be too numerous to count." The angel had gone on to tell her that she would have a son, whom she would name Ishmael.

Hagar had been awestruck. The God of Abram was real! Not only was he real, but he knew her, Hagar, a lowly servant, and He had seen her plight! He had seen her! She had fallen to her knees, there in the desert and cried "You are El Roi, the God who sees me!"

Coming out of her silent reverie, Hagar snorted in derision. "The God who sees, indeed." She shook her head. "God doesn't see me. Or if He does, He certainly doesn't care about me. He's made that abundantly clear. He's turned his back on all the promises made to me that day. "

She had done as the angel had instructed her that day. She had gone back to Sarah, and had submitted, however unwillingly, to the woman's demands. Eventually, her son Ishmael had been born. He was the light of her life. He may have been the heir of Abraham and Sarah, but he was truly Hagar's child. She had given him life, nursed him, watched his first steps, comforted him when he had fallen, and calmed his childish fears. She had sat by his bedside through childhood illnesses and watched with pride as he grew towards manhood. She had a bond with Ishmael that Sarah would never be able to share, no matter what custom said.

Ishmael had also spent a lot of time with his father, Abraham, learning all there was to know about caring for a tribe as large as the group who followed Abraham. He had been trained to follow in his father's footsteps. Then, suddenly, everything had changed. At the age of 90, Sarah had given birth to a son!! It was unbelievable! To Hagar's dismay, this son of Sarah's, Isaac, was to have all that she had believed would be Ishmael's. It was not Ishmael, the oldest son, but Isaac who would be Abraham's heir, and the recipient of God's promises. It was too much to bear.

Her bitterness had known no bounds after that day. Her attitude toward Isaac had quickly spread to her son, Ishmael, and it had finally destroyed them. On the day of Isaac's weaning, Ishmael had mocked Isaac one too many times in Sarah's hearing, and she had forced Abraham to expel both Hagar and Ishmael from their household.

And here they were, alone and dying in the desert. There would be no God to save them now. God loved Isaac, not Ishmael. When it came to her and Ishmael, God was as blind as all the stone idols worshipped in the surrounding cities.

The tears began to return, as the despair washed over Hagar anew. Her shoulders shaking, she again laid her head on her knees and began to sob. Suddenly, in the midst of her cries, a new sound reached Hagar's ears. It was a soft, strong, voice, and it was calling her name. Stifling a sob, Hagar raised her head and tried to see through the tears streaming down her face. Wiping both eyes with the back of her hand, she looked for the source of the voice. She saw no one, but she heard it again. "Hagar".

"Yes?" she questioned tremulously. "Who's there?"

"What is the matter, Hagar?" the voice replied. "Do not be afraid. God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation."

Still looking around for the source of the voice, Hagar suddenly saw something that she swore had not been there before. There, just a little ways off, was a well! How it had gotten there, Hagar could not explain. She had searched the entire area thoroughly looking for signs of water, but had found nothing. Now there in plain sight, was a well! It could only be the work of God! God had seen them after all! He still loved her, and He loved Ishmael! They were not alone! Hagar almost tripped as she scrambled hurriedly to the side of her son. She lifted him up and supported him on her shoulder as they both limped awkwardly in the direction of the well. It would take Ishmael a few days to recover enough to travel, but he would survive! They were saved!

Hagar and Ishmael made their home in the desert, and Hagar raised her son the best she could, even travelling to Egypt to find him a wife. She was alone in a human sense, a single mother, and yet, she knew now without a doubt, that she was not completely alone. El Roi, the God who sees was with them.

So many of us today live solitary lives filled with loneliness. Marriages and relationships are crumbling around us. Mothers are raising their children alone, trying to be mother, father, and breadwinner. People who seem successful on the outside are going home to cold, lonely apartments. The elderly are sitting in nursing homes dreaming of grandchildren that they barely know. We feel so alone.

We can be comforted, though, to know that El Roi is still there. He still sees. He still cares. God loves us, He sees us, and He will comfort us. He is with us, just as He was with Hagar and Ishmael. If you quiet your tears for just a minute and listen, you will hear him calling your name…

"Do not be afraid. God has heard…"

Copyright © 2000 Jessica Wilkinson